AN UNUSUAL TRAVELLER’S GUIDE

Sad Topographies: 10 Places To Visit If You Are In Low Spirits

Every city, island, mountain, and lake has an interesting story behind its name. Many of them are called after the person who discovered them. Others, however, were baptized after the mood and mindset of the person who had the honor of naming them.

In 2017, Artist Damien Rudd published Sad Topographies, an illustrated guide that compiles some of the saddest —and funniest— names around the world. Inspired by his book, in this article, we have gathered just a few examples out of an incredible array of somber places in the United States. Read on and we hope that, if you are not in the best mood today, we’ll make you smile.

Image: Pat__

Frustration Lake, Alaska

Have you ever felt upset or annoyed when you were trying unsuccessfully to achieve something? Well, that’s probably what happened to a pilot in the 60s when he couldn’t land on the rough surface of this icy lake in Alaska. Located in the Matanuska-Susitna region, by the Tordrillo Mountains, and adjacent to Triumvirate Glacier this area is difficult to access but frequented nonetheless by mountaineers in search of adventure.

According to Alaska Guide Co, Frustration Lake got its name in 1964 after a plane carrying three alpinists had to look for another climbing spot when they realized that it would be impossible to master the extreme conditions of this wayward body of water. So now you know, if you ever visit The Last Frontier, you might want to visit this faraway lake just to wash away all your frustrations.

Image: Robin Holmquist

Misery Islands, Massachusetts

Misery Islands, an 87-acre nature reserve near Salem Harbor in Massachusetts, is full of stories. As early as 1900, a business group built a luxury retreat meant for the Boston and North Shore socialites that included a saltwater swimming pool, a casino, a clubhouse, a tennis court, a lounge, and even a 9-hole golf course! Can you imagine? Unfortunately, the enterprise didn’t last long, and a year later only ruins remained.

Not long after, a summer colony of more than 25 cottages was established on the coasts of Misery Islands, although they were also short-lived. In 1926, a devastating fire destroyed many houses and the owners eventually left. In light of these events, it is not surprising that in the 1620s, shipbuilder Captain Robert Moulton described his time here as "three miserable days". Despite the name they inherited, nowadays Misery Islands are open to the public and are worth a visit if only to appreciate their breathtaking views and the fresh sea air.

Image: MagicTV

Desperation Drive and Solitude Way, California

If you are driving to Eldorado National Forest in California and you suddenly start feeling down, don’t panic, perhaps you just got lost and landed on the intersection of Desperation Drive and Solitude Way. Located on Frenchtown, originally a mining camp 37 miles from Sacramento and southeast of Shingle Springs, these two charming winding roads to nowhere are somewhat of a mystery.

We can't be sure why or who gave them those names, but we couldn’t leave them out of this list. Who hasn't felt desperate and alone at some point? And who knows, maybe their remote location and surrounding tall pine trees bring some kind of solace and comfort.

Image: vishu

Failure Canyon, Utah

Utah is known for its natural beauty, national monuments, world-class ski resorts, and let’s face it, unusual names. Due to its cowboy, Indian, and Mormon heritage the Beehive State is home to places like Mount Timpanogos, Cutthroat Lake, and Eureka City. But perhaps one of the most peculiar ones is Failure Canyon, a valley in the mountainous Summit County.

With an elevation of 7,200 feet, this gorge originates in the southwest section of the Uinta Mountains and drains north into Beaver Creek. Rumor has it that it was named after Beaver Creek Charlie, a Ute Indian who went broke after failing as a prospector during the gold rush.

Image: Ashim D’Silva

Spiteful Geyser, Wyoming

We’ve heard of vengeful people, but spiteful geysers? Apparently, it’s a thing. Spiteful Geyser, located on Firehole River in Yellowstone National Park, is a crystalline pool with an average temperature of 179.5°F running off down the hillside.

This hot spring possibly formed from a hydrothermal explosion, got its name because when it erupts it spatters water straight at the boardwalk, catching everyone around off guard. However, despite its vindictive reputation, Spiteful Geyser seems to have grown in the last few years: it has not erupted since 1998.

Image: David Köhler

Cape Disappointment, Washington

Don't let the name fool you, Cape Disappointment won’t let you down! In fact, it’s one of Washington’s favorite state parks, featuring coastal forests, large beaches, an old fort, breathtaking scenery, and not one but two working lighthouses. Located just by the town of Ilwaco, where the Columbia River meets the Pacific Ocean, this 2,023-acre camping park established in the early 1950s offers its visitors a variety of fun outdoor activities all year round.

So why is it called Cape Disappointment? The area earned its depressing name in 1788 when Captain John Meares failed to cross the river bar. The English navigator and explorer thought that the mouth of the Columbia River was only a bay and was eventually proved wrong. Over the years, the area was renamed a couple of times only to end up being called as one frustrated man intended, more than two centuries ago.

Image: Karsten Winegeart

Lonelyville, New York

Lonelyville is a small beach community located on Fire Island in Suffolk County, New York. This little town got its nostalgic name from three businessmen and friends from Bay Shore who planted the flag in the area in the early 1900s. An article under the title "Lonelyville-By-The-Bay, Not So Lonely After All", published in a newspaper of the time stated that. one member of the group "racked his fertile brain for a name" and "almost immediately ‘Lonelyville’ suggested itself, and with due eclat, and champagne, the resort was christened and launched upon the sea of fame."

Nowadays, Lonelyville has approximately 80 houses, predominantly summer-only vacation cottages. There are no bars, stores, or cafes, so it’s the ideal place to vacation if you are looking for peace and quiet. Fun fact: one of the most prominent past residents of Lonelyville is writer and director Mel Brooks, who used to own an ocean-front house designed by no other than famed architect Richard Meier.

Image: Billy Liao

Nothing, Arizona

Can you think of a better name for a ghost town? We certainly can’t! Nothing is an uninhabited town in eastern Mohave County, Arizona that, at its height, had a population of four. The settlement was established in 1977 by Richard "Buddy" Kenworthy, a liquor store owner from Coolidge. A friend suggested that he should call the new land Nothing, "since there ain't nothing out there."

For some time, the site consisted of a small convenience store and a gas station but was abandoned in 2005 when Kenworthy finally moved out. Over the years there were a few attempts to revive the town and even a pizza joint was opened in 2009. Unfortunately, these efforts proved to be unsuccessful and today Nothing is just a stopover for travelers passing through Route 93.

Image: ashutosh nandeshwar

Despair Island, Rhode Island

Despair Island is one of the many islands that make up Narragansett Bay in Newport County, Rhode Island. This small 91-acre isle, composed mainly of rocks used by nesting birds, is a bit elusive. At high tide, it is barely visible and has to be marked with a buoy.

It was Puritan minister Roger Williams who gave this group of islands their names in the 17th century. Unfortunately for Despair Island, it got the worst possible one. The others surrounding it were given more uplifting aliases: Hope Island and Prudence Island. In fact, a children's Colonial-period song honored them like this: "Prudence, Patience, Hope, and Despair / And little Hog Island, right over there."

Image: Pexels

Disenchantment Bay, Alaska

It seems to have been a popular fashion among explorers to embody their maritime frustrations in the names they gave to the places they discovered. This inlet right at the head of Yakutat Bay in Alaska, was named "Puerto del Desengaño" —Spanish for "bay of disenchantment"— by Tuscan explorer Alessandro Malaspina in 1792. Similar to what happened to other places listed in this article, Malaspina was disappointed when he discovered that the bay was not the entrance to the legendary Northwest Passage.

Nowadays, Disenchantment Bay is far from an unsatisfying place. It can be visited on a cruise ship or a charter boat to enjoy its spectacular views of the rugged coastline, icy islands, and the breathtakingly beautiful Hubbard Glacier.

Image: Joshua Sukoff